In Swick's Bookbag : The Ruins of Gorlan

I have a love-hate relationship with series. The series that I do love, I love very much and I'm glad that there are multiple books. The series that I don't love or simply haven't read yet... well, they can be a pain because I have to label them all so that they are easier to find for kiddos.

Surprisingly! - just kiddo books. Adults don't seem to mind giving me the title of the second book in the series, or in some cases, the series name. Kids and teens on the other hand just say "I'm looking for Twilight #2 or Diary of a Wimpy Kid #2" .... doesn't matter if that isn't the name of the series... never know the title of the sequel so I'm constantly having to look series order up.... sometimes if it doesn't even have a sequel, they ask about the sequel because EVERY book lately (I'm looking at you YA section) seems to be part of a series.

The Ranger's Apprentice is one of those series that's been popular, long, and one I hadn't read yet. Since I've been putting the numbers on these books recently, I thought it was about time I introduced myself. The series STILL seems to be going on. It began in 2004 and the latest (#12) was published last year. Plus, boys seem to really like it, and I tend to dig guys' reads a lot.

I can't say that I've fallen in love with the series yet, but I am enjoying what I have read so far and already plan to check out the second volume called 'The Burning Bridge.' The Ranger's Apprentice is a medieval fantasy drama centered around Will, an orphan boy, who becomes apprenticed to Ranger Halt (duh, that's where the series name comes from!) and trained in the art of hunting, assassin arts, and espionage. The blurbs that I have read about the other titles suggest that there is a long epic storyline spanning years over Will's life as a Ranger and the lives of his orphan friends and their apprenticeships. I've been looking for a 'Game of Thrones'esque readalike that wasn't quite so complicated to get me in the mood to read high fantasy, and I think that I have found it. There's plenty of action, and all the characters- particularly the main ones : Will, Halt, and Horace are developing nicely.

Reminds me a lot of the Harry Potter and Percy Jackson series.

ULTIMATE SANDWICH

I'm hungry right now, so I'm going to write about the ultimate sandwich. Well, MY ultimate sandwich; I don't know about anybody else... that's not my problem.

CHAPTER ONE :

The ultimate sandwich has to start with the absolute PERFECT bread... which, if you don't know... is a lightly toasted wheat sourdough... crunchy salty tang and tear-your-gums goodness... buttered on both sides to get that perfect golden-brown color to it.

CHAPTER TWO :

Then.... you get out some mayonnaise. Oh yeah, REAL mayonnaise; none of this namby-pamby 'lite mayo' or 'Miracle Whip' - NOPE ! 100% real mayo goodness, and you dip the knife in and spread a thin layer on one side of the sourdough. Just one side though! We don't want to clog up out arteries just yet.

CHAPTER THREE : 

Wash some fresh romaine lettuce. The darker the green, the better. Wash it in cool clear water, and then place a leaf on top of that mayo you just spread. Make sure the lettuce leaf isn't wilted, so that it still has some crisp crunch to it! That's the most important part!

CHAPTER FOUR :

Take a good old beefsteak tomato. Wash it under cool clear water, and then slice into it with a stainless steel knife. Don't take the end. Make sure to take a nice thick slice from in the middle. And cut it in half diagonally so that you don't pull the tomato all out at once on your first bite! It's important to pick a tomato that is fully ripe, but not squishy. We need structure AND favor in order to make this work, okay?

CHAPTER FIVE :

On the other slice of perfect toasted wheat sourdough... you need to spread generous amounts of ripe avocado. Mash it up with a little lime juice with a spoon so that it doesn't brown. One consistant green mushy layer of awesomeness.

CHAPTER SIX :

The main event. You NEED maple smoked bacon strips. Oh yeah! Not the over-salted shit. You wanna be able to taste the maple and the bacon and all that salty-fatty-sweet glory as nature intended it to be. Put it in a skillet and cook it good until it has just barely become crispy. It must NOT be limp, nor can it be burned. It must be perfect Goldilocks bacon... both crunchy and chewy and full of juices. Slap that pig onto the sandwich and close it up.

CHAPTER SEVEN : 

Close your eyes and take a bite of the ultimate sandwich. Oh yeah... classic BLT with a little bit of a California twist to it. Let your tongue glide over all the radical textures and flavors .... crunchy bread, creamy mayo, savory avocado, salty-sweet bacon.... buttery.... bacon-y.... tomato tang.

Ultimate sandwich.

Tanka Tuesday (part 2)

I need to get back in the habit of writing more poetry. 

For those of you unfamiliar, 'tanka' is a form of poetry. Like a haiku, the lines don't have to rhyme but must have a set number of syllables : 5/7/5/7/7

truly i'm a fiend
drawing strength from enemy's
insecurities
i don't need the whole story
i can smell the pain and smile.

History of Swick's RPG Extravaganza (part 5)

Need a refresher? - here's PART 4

Want to know what the hell I'm talking about? - here's PART 1

Goodness, it's been over a week since I last posted anything, and I was doing so good too! 

Summer Reading Program starts in only a few days, and the youth desk has been busy getting all of their ducks in a row to make it all as smooth and successful as possible. Doing my part has meant covering the desk while the others are away, and it can get hectic being only one people and trying to help so many that I just don't have any energy at the end of the day to do more than watch mindless television, haha. I've finally acquired some energy and time to write. Surprisingly, when the weather is rainy or snowy, people don't come to the library. I thought it would be the exact opposite.

I guess I should continue my RPG story.

RPGs began rapidly changing after the launch of the PS2, and I'm having a difficult time determining exactly what is an RPG and what isn't .... a lot of my favorite genre (platformers) began appear in games with 3D models and RPG elements, but can they truly be considered RPGs? ... as long as they don't follow a set sequence of levels I suppose yes, they can. They started called these games 'action-adventure' or '3D platforming adventure' games, and 'action-RPGs' .... a lot of my gaming went into the series and trilogy games: notably Jak & Daxter, Ratchet & Clank, and Sly Cooper. I am a huge fan of the Ratchet and Clank series. I have purchased and kept every game that came out after the first game, and I am TOTALLY STOKED ABOUT THE UPCOMING RATCHET AND CLANK MOVIE COMING OUT NEXT YEAR! *ahem*

... at this point, my gaming career took a major turn. No longer was I enchanted by the turn-based JRPGs. I liked the design and feel of these 'get up and go' story-driven platformers which in turn caused me to buy lots and lots more. In fact, about 90% of my gaming collection can be considered games like these. A few others of note .... Psychonauts (which is officially my favorite video-game ever) , Crash Twinsanity, and an overlooked game called Whiplash which I had a blast playing.

The closest thing that I came to an actual RPG during this time was Dynasty Warriors 4 : Empires

.... that's not really an RPG in the slightest. Well, I guess technically I am a feudal warlord battling with other feudal warlords  and role-playing politics and military etc. .... but when you talk story-driven, you don't really talk Dynasty Warriors. Hell, I beat the entire game in two hours.

But... it did pave the way for the next bunch of games I would encounter. The character design of Dynasty Warriors greatly inspired me to get into samurai literature and games which led to....

P L E A S E   I N S E R T   D I S C 6
T O    C O N T I N U E

Tanka Tuesday (part 1)

I need to get back in the habit of writing more poetry.

For those of you unfamiliar, 'tanka' is a form of poetry. Like a haiku, the lines don't have to rhyme but must have a set number of syllables : 5/7/5/7/7

there's not enough time
to worry about these things
that think they're all that
the things that matter the most
don't need to tell you they are

Read THIS not THAT! - YA Straight Romance

I'm going to be completely honest with you guys.... if it isn't a lesbian romance novel, I don't read romance novels. I blame it partially on my sexuality, and partially on the fact that I find romance rather tedious and boring. I mean, think about it.... 90% of all romance films and books end up one of two ways...

1)  Either the people you think will never get together end up getting together to spite everybody

 

2) There's a one true pairing that the plot of the story is to try to split them up but to no avail because true love conquers all

 

.... I admit that I am guilty of weaving BOTH of these plotlines into my high-school lesbian drama that I write for myself for shits and giggles when I'm bored. 

 

The young adult sections (or YAs) are absolutely littered with awkward hormonal romances for all the awkward hormonal teens going through that time in their life when all they think about is 'how my body is changing' and 'how hot that guy/girl is and I wanna get in their pants' .... it happens to everyone. I understand. I was an awkward hormonal teen at one time too.

 

That doesn't mean that this genre is literature has a pass when it comes to terrible and not terrible. There are good YA romances, and there are terrible YA romances....

 

I'm not going to put LGBT YA fiction in this list; I may do another list for it later. These are mainstream YA straight romances.I'm not going to subdivide theses into 'paranormal romance' and 'historical romance' and shit because honestly, I don't read enough where romance is the main plotline in all of them. There just aren't that many I can recommend and how many I can tell you to steer clear of Actually, there are plenty of those since this is my least favorite genre. Nevermind.

 

It's gonna be a massacre.

 

NOT THESE!

 

 

 

Twilight - Oh, Twilight saga, there are so many things I can point out about this series that are so terrible from the writing style to the characters to just the plot in general. We know what an awful person Bella Swan is, but for our 'terrible romances' list, I'm going to pick on Edward and Jacob a little bit. Edward is a 118 year old pedophile, and Jacob wants to babyfuck Renesmee(?) I don't even know how the fuck to spell her name. Let me explain.... since Edward has turned into a vampire, he's been in permanent teenage form for 100 years, but only his body is perfect. Edward's mind, however, seems to definitely have sharpened into a normal human adult brain as obvious by the many times Bella is caught swooning over how much more knowledgable and mature Edward is compared to her. Okay, that is kind of creepy. Second, he's matured into a creepy stalker.... including climbing through her bedroom window and watching her as she's sleeping to slashing her tires so she can't see Jacob and maintain control over her. .... under normal circumstances, you'd file a restraining order on Edward rather than fuck him but Bella's an idiot. Jacob is a little more respectful of Bella in the first few books, but after Bella's baby bursts forth, all Jacob can think about is how he wants Bella's baby to become his soulmate. He's gonna wait, guys! But he lusts after her and mentions he wants to do the dirty with her when she gets older. Seriously, guys? You think this is romantic? No, this is just creepy. I could post 100 more paragraph about how disgusting the 'romance' in Twilight is...

 

Halo - This is 'Twilight' for the fundamental Christian crowd. Instead of vampires and werewolves, we have humans and angels falling in love. Unfortunately, the plot and the characters are even dumber than Bella Swan. WWOOOOWWW. The book sets itself up like it is going to be an epic battle between God's Angels and Lucifer's Fallen Angels, but in all honesty, this is all just an excuse for Bethany (the super special Mary-Sue angel) and Xavier (the cardboard cutout male lead) to meet at a high society private school and talk about how much they love each other but they aren't going to have sex until they are married because God wouldn't like it if they didn't. Nearly 3/4 of the book is about Bethany creaming her panties over Xavier. Yeah, it is incredible awkward. And besides, why the fuck are angels being sent down from heaven to a wealthy private school in the first place???

 

 

Hush Hush - This is 'Twilight' with fallen angels, demons, and would-be murderers and THE LEAD MALE PUCK ADMITS TO STALKING AND WANTING TO MURDER THE FEMALE LEAD NORA. To which, Nora says "you're so silly; you'd never hurt me!" but the whole time before that Nora is paranoid about Patch hurting her ................. what the fuck is wrong with this author and these people? This is anything but romantic!

 

Article 5 - This is billed as a dystopian. It's not. It's a shitty romance about a whiny dependant little bitch who think more about the hot guy she's with than the rapidly decaying state of the nation where people like her in a few generation's time will be thought of as absolutely nothing. I seriously wanting the male lead to slap this bitch for being so stupid.

 

 

 

READ THESE!

 

 

 

 

Sweep - If you insist on reading the paranormal romance genre, then this series is your best bet. Not only are the main male and female lead NOT stalkers and indiots, but the series actually addresses societal issues including LGBT rights, freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and learning to make an identity and choices for yourself instead of blindly following the leaders. It also deals with teen issues .... dating troubles, friend troubles, school troubles.... and for once in a teen book, it gives solid advice while having the characters remain true to their characters and sounding like teenagers. They just don't write them like this one anymore.

The Raging Quiet - A historical romance novel set in the Middle Ages about a girl who ends up falling for the 'town idiot' ... he's not an idiot at all, she discovers. He's merely deaf and no one has ever taken the time to try to talk to or understand him. I didn't read this of my own accord, but was recommended this book by my friend Elyse. I was very surprised by how well it was written, and what issues it addresses regarding tolerance and romance in general.
 

The Future of Us - For those of you into the science-fiction realm but want a little romance, this YA novel is not to be missed. The premise of the book is simple : in the dawn of the internet, two teenagers discover 'Facebook' (which won't be developed for another decade or so) and end up being able to see their own futures. They learn that the things that do now can seriously affect what is happening on the Facebook page. Knowledge like this can be very very dangerous. Although they can see what will happen to them if they decide to get together, will the teens risk it all anyway? This is a surprisingly quick and enjoyable read even for those who don't normally read romances, and it brings up interesting issues with social media.

 

In Swick's Bookbag : Endangered

I find apes absolutely fascinating, especially their capacity to learn, their societal groups, and the fact that we share approximately 98% percent of our DNA with them. It's amazing to me that such a small percentage changes a living thing so much from one another, and at the same time, they are so remarkably similar that they almost feel human too.

 

When any kind of fictional book about apes comes out (especially if it is marketed towards kids and teens), it immediately goes onto my to-read list. Many of my staff picks for the library are about apes or ape-behavior.

 

The book I have right now .... Endangered by Eliot Schrefer .... is no exception to this.

 

 

 

In fact, it's almost more important because it is a heart-wrenching story about the casualties of war and rebellion that nobody talks about.... the animals. It is a story about a girl who has come from two different worlds to care for an infant bonobo and life with them in a wartime zone in Africa.

 

So. Many. Feels.

 

I'm not sure what it says about me, but as far as horror goes, you can chop up and bloody humans all day and I won't so much as bat an eye, I'm so insensitive to it. The instant you throw in any kind of animal .... apes, dogs, cats .... even insects to a degree! ... and I feel sickened. Thankfully, there isn't a lot of description of the death and turmoil, but the atmosphere is laden with it. It is a very intense book.

 

I'm having a hard time reading parts of this book, but so far it's been beautiful and moving.