Thursday, March 14, 2013

Literary Apocalypse: How I Know The End Is Coming


Sadly, whenever you type in '666' into the search engine nowadays, instead of getting creepy stuff - you get this :

What the hell, World? What the hell? She's not even very attractive, and neither is he. Why do we need more shows about blatant sexism and.... sex!? Isn't there already enough of this mindless drabble on TV and in our YA literature?
Try me, World; Try me! The YA scene is filled with the WORST kinds of books nowadays. So, for today's journal update, I present to you the Literary Apocalypse.

10 YA Books That Should Never Have Been Made and Will Lead To Further Dumbing Down Of The Generation To Come After Mine

10 - the Twilight saga by Stephanie Meyer
condemned because : Edward is a stalker and a pedo; Bella is a flat imitation of a character, and thanks to the pair of them - fucked up relationships are the new norm.9 - the Halo saga by Alexandra Adornetto
condemned because: Twilight for Christians. Bethany is the epitome of Mary Sue.8 - Article 5 by Kristen Simmons
condemned because : Ember is the worst female character for teens to look up to. She is stupid beyond all compare.7 - 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James
condemned because : obviously a Twilight fanfiction and E.L. James can't write a decent paragraph to save her life.6 - Monument 14 by Emily Laybourne
condemned because : worst case of deus ex machina ever, and dystopia as an excuse to write 'kids locked in Walmart and reenact Lord of the Flies'5 - The Raft by S.A. Bodeen
condemned because : character is stupid, and her nose ring is a plot device? seriously?4 - Daniel X series by James Patterson
condemned because : Daniel X's real name is Gary Stu; everything about this is cliche awful. 3 - Maximum Ride series by James Patterson
condemned because : awful quality of writing and wtf is happening? plot2A Child Called It by Peter Selzer
condemned because : obviously written and expanded upon because of shameless CASHCOW syndrome1 - Reason to Breathe by Rebecca Donovan
comdemned because : Awful quality of writing and completely bogus characters

This is only 10 of the 1000s of awful books that are out there.
Honorable Mentions:
the House of Night series by P.C. Cast
condemned because : mean girls plus vampires equals pettiest novel series everanything written by Danielle Steel
condemned because : awful awful writing, awful awful plots

666, I excepted this --

Or something similar to it. Maybe an Iron Maiden reference.

But no, I got sex and a bunch of horrible YA romances.
Click here for a really awesome song.
Click here* if me bashing YA literature really offended you.
* NSFW ; NSFanyone really ; you've been warned*

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