Thursday, February 28, 2013

8 Unintentionally Hilarious Book Titles I Came Across While Shelving A-I Adult Fiction.

I come across some pretty weird books.

What it is actually about : "This stylish novella tells the tale of Jocelyn Guenevere Marchantiere Jones, whose Scarsdale life comes to an abrupt end when her husband goes in search of a bit of "fresh flesh." Soon she is fending for herself in New York City, where finding a clean restroom will prove to be the least of her concerns."

What my first impression was : The restrooms in New York are disgusting and nobody there cares. Then a chick comes along and cleans it??? What the hell is wrong with this world???

What it is actually about : "Eloise, with umlaut, is a self-hating woman of private means who loathes leaving the house. Speaking to the mailman causes her hours of trauma, as do basic phone or street interactions, particularly those with negative outcomes. She curls up with her cats making lists when she isn’t fretting about washing her hair. George, her ex, is an American poet composing an epic on ice hockey whose chauvinism is coming to an end with an acute case of writer’s block. After a hundred pages of existential cramp, the action switches to Connemara, Ireland, where a slew of oddities muscle into the narrative for a deeply disappointing murder mystery weekend experience."

What my first impression was : A lament where a lady must decide between her husband or her unhealthy obsession with mangos, or a deep philosophical piece about an islander with a identity crisis who cannot discern whether he is a man or a mango.

What it is actually about : "An interesting insight to the New York art scene. A wonderful story with realistic characters and a story that you want to find out how it all turns out. A good look at the underbelly of the art galleries and the workings of art auctions and the people who buy art. Educational with a great story."

"I thought this was going to be a coming of age story about a girl making it in the gallery world, or perhaps a satire of the New York art scene. But instead, I discovered that it was chick lit -- and that realization highlighted for me what it is I don't like about chick lit. The characters were caricatures, most of the big moments felt unearned, and the plot was propelled by obvious misunderstandings and weighed down by little scenes where the main character decides which dress to wear "


What it is actually about : "Beverly Hills cop Charlie Willis trades in his real badge for a fake one . . . and so begins an uproarious but deadly romp through the wonderful world of TV make-believe . . . with real bullets."

What my first impression was : Good for you, and HOW DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE???

What it is actually about : "This hilarious, fast-paced novel about musicians, love, and family is the literary debut of Kathi Kamen Goldmark, founder of the Rock Bottom Remainders, the publishing industrys hottest band. The tale follows sexy Sarah Jean Pixlie as she catapults from struggling back-up singer to blazing star on the country music scene. Along the way, she pours out her irreverent, savvy soul in the delicious, humorous lyrics to more than a dozen original songs, including "Put Me on the Guest List (To Your Heart)," "Hell on Heels," and "My Baby Used to Hold Me (Now He's Putting Me on Hold)." Witty and fresh, this romp is a great performance on stage and on the page."

What my first impression was : OH SHIT, HAUNTED SHOES!

What it is actually about : "Finley, an investigator of indiscernible origins and prowess who is assigned to a mysterious Professor Uppal and his puppets. The nature of the investigation isn’t clear, but Finley nonetheless forges ahead, with occasional assistance from her colleagues Murphy, The Lamb, and Binelli, as well as the professor’s beautiful daughter and her sinister boyfriend. The investigation circles in on itself until Finley realizes that she may be close to discovering the truth about her forgotten life."

What my first impression was : Orion, you jerk! A coming of age story about a girl who keeps getting her marbles stole by a bully who loves her.

What is is actually about : "The mother of two young boys, Mary knows how to get them to behave the way she wants. Now she's designing the spousal equivalent of a star chart and every little thing her husband does wrong will go on it. Though Mary knows you're supposed to reward the good behavior rather than punish the bad, the rules for those in middle age are different than the rules for those not even in middle school...
In THE PILE OF STUFF AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS, Hopkinson pens a hilarious and acutely-observed novel about marriage, motherhood, children, and work. Readers everywhere will find Mary's trials hilariously familiar as they cheer her on in her efforts to balance home, work, children, and a clean bottom stair"

What my first impression was : The next thrilling installment in R.L. Stine's best-selling series GOOSEBUMPS

What it is actually about : "Life isn’t easy for twenty-two year old Easter and her teenage sister Anneth, who were left parentless as young children. While Easter, a devout Pentecostal, finds solace in the powerful music of her church, Anneth seeks comfort in the rougher edges of life found in dancing, drinking, and fast living. Easter believes in tradition and is intent on rearing her wild young sister properly, but it’s only a matter of time before a wedge is driven between them–and threatens to undo their bond forever. . . "

What my first impression was : WORST. TATTOO. EVER. Never get that drunk ever again.

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